Anti-Joke

There once was a man who considered himself quite the clever wit, so much so that he called himself "The Greatest Wit of Mankind". One day The Greatest Wit of Mankind went to a standup comedy show, and sat quite near the front. As it happened, the compere picked on The Greatest Wit of Mankind for some improvised pisstakery. "You sir", the compere said, "Are you the front end of an ass?". "No," replied The Wit. "Are you the back end of an ass?" the compere continued. "No," replied The Wit again. "Then you must be no end of an ass!" finished the compere. The audience roared with laughter, and for once The Greatest Wit of Mankind was struck dumb for a witty response. Naturally, he was furious and embarrassed, and sat through the rest of the show in a fuming silence.

The next day, he couldn't get the humiliation at the comedy show out of his mind, so he resolved to go back there that night and prove the sharpness of his wit.

So that evening, The Greatest Wit of Mankind sat himself at the front row at the comedy show, and waited for the compere to pick on him. Sure enough, the compere did precisely that. "You sir, are you the front end of an ass?" he asked The Greatest Wit of Mankind. With a slight smile tugging at his mouth, knowing the barbs of the compere were nothing more than pre-rehearsed routine he repeated night after night, The Greatest Wit of Mankind responded: "No." "Are you the back end of an ass?" the compere continued. The Greatest Wit of Mankind restrained his smug grin with all his might; he knew this man was no wit, no clever master of words, and he could destroy him. Make him pay for the humiliation he'd suffered twenty-four hours before. "No," replied The Wit. "Then you must be no end of an ass!" the compere finished. The Greatest Wit of Mankind stood up ready to deliver his crushing putdown, the sharpest, most barbed comeback in all his repetoire, a response that would have the audience rolling on the floor and put the fear of ever going back onto the stage into the heart of the compere. The Greatest Wit of Mankind licked his lips and shouted: "GO FUCK YOURSELF".