you are a cinema

Felt like my life has really been all over the place these last few weeks, and I'm in no mood, nor will I ever be in the mood to give a verbose twist worthy of bloggable buzz recounting the tales of the last few weeks.

In place, I provide an ever so infotaining objective account of my life the past few weeks now in bullet point form

- Studying for Biology Exam.
- Vow of Silence.
- Breaking of Vow of Silence.
- Re-vow of silence.
- Biology Exam.

and now for something not so objective, I should like to discuss something culturally relevant, for once. We as adolescent youth, we as our naive existences, we as our generally accepted though politically incorrect demeanours of our peers and the itch to discover identity.

Identity.

the distinct personality of an individual regarded as a persisting entity; "you can lose your identity when you join the army"

Can you lose something that you may not ever find?

Is an individual identity something in and of itself, like time and space? Is identity completely self sufficient or does it require more to bring forth the succulent fruits of its seeds - the seeds which are embedded in all of us, like genes switched on under the influence of the environment.

It seems incomprehensible, intangible, illogical, doesn't it? Why is it so that in order to find out our distinct personality as an individual existing alone as we know it in the universe, that we may need the interaction between friends to expose us, that we may need the love from our family and sensation from our copulator(s) in order to define our existence?

Can it be really possible for the enigma that is the human body to distinguish itself from the carbon clones all on its own, to explore itself and find its way like a self scanning mechanism? Surely such a task seems insurmountable; for no man is homunculus, no man holds such faculties to proclaim himself truthfully. No man can surely hold an objective account for himself.

Hitherto, it has not only been up to the man and up to man's peers in order to help discover an identity, there are greater powers facilitating this movement. Science and religion have played their role into pushing, shackling a man into what the "Good man" is, what the good man ought to aim at. Science, particularly biology and chemistry, seem to put up a pretty feasible account of what constitutes a man, and just as a consolation, declares that we are all different, we are all unique, genotypically and phenotypically.

Not that any of this matters in the grand scheme of things.

Not since technology has jumped onto the bandwagon as well. Specifically, the internet and search engines. Am I talking about Google Instant? The application that completes your search result before you've even finished it, the search engine that makes you as a seeker of information a statistic? The search engine that uses your results in order to improve itself, to help you? Hardly, this is barely a step above what Google had going before.

No, what's really fucked up is what Yahoo are getting up to. They want to take your sex and age, your previous online history and behavior (including the content of your social networking) to tailor suit your search results.

And why is this fucked up? Could it be the fact that Yahoo are trying to get to know me like some sort of online stalker to answer my questions based on who it thinks I am? Is it the fact that Yahoo is assuming my sociological expectations in order to find me answers? Or is it the fact that somewhere in between the notion that the internet is merely a place for information [of all sorts], and we as people use the internet for infotainment, people seem to forget that computers are computers, the internet is the internet, raw data at this stage, and search engines are merely tools to turn data into information.

As a user of the internet, I only wish that I can attempt to get answers to my questions, whether I want to or not, without facing barrage upon barrage of metaphorical measuring tapes, judging me in order to help facilitate my needs. I do not need this, not from a novel, not from a dictionary, not from the internet. Much more importantly however, as an individual yearning for any sense of identity, any sense of what makes me, me, I do not need other people, much less computers and search engines trying to find my identity for me, ultimately turning me into a statistic or giving me a label.

I am myself. I cannot be classified, and neither can you.

In any event, I want this new Benny Benassi song.