Hi. This Post Will Be Blatantly Bland.

So in a blog post, you will see some lame attempt at humor here, which will be soon followed by a segue into the next paragraph, normally done through a double entendre or through explicit proclamation.

In the chance that you do have the contents here, you will find the following.

Generic Name For Content

- Unintersting description of recent events.
- something interesting
- An incident that's told in a way that is meant to be funny, but 9/10 times is not funny at all.
- Elaboration of something boring.
- Something boring.
- At this stage, the writer of this blog will feel so much insignificance that he often feels that an alt media would suffice for the shabby job he's so far done at writing.
- To further distract you from his atrocious use of the English language, he will insert an article here from some obscure alt magazine, in the hopes that you think "Wow, what a nice read, I like the writer".
- The author will now sum up here, thinking that just because he's pulled you, the reader, away from his abuse of the English language, his post is successful. This is usually in an attempt to heighten his ego.

After the contents, another sexually innappropriate joke will be made here, segueing to the first item on the contents.

The paragraph begins with a boring overview of the writer's life, followed by some more boring elaborations into equally as boring events. Note that the writer can almost be imagined to be straining with intense difficulty as he struggles to get some fingers to keyboard in order to construct a coherent sentence. Shortly after this menial process is completed, the author/writer feels like he's just climbed Everest, and with a seemingly infinite amount of momentum, begins the descent down, down into what would be the most boring piece of crap ever to come across the eyes of the audience.

If time permits, the writer will allow another innappropriate joke into the next paragraph. If the paragraph is particularly boring, the author will use his first of lifelines and change into a different media, adding variation into the already meagre viewing experience.

The writer will begin his introduction, usually with some irrelevant background story into the matter. From there, the story cuts to the beginning, though the description is amateur at best, and the audience is subjected to feeling like they're reading something straight from the mouth of an angsty teenager. Piece by piece, the writer will then feel the need to address every aspect of said incident, putting in a mammoth load of meaningless opinion into the matter. [So don't listen to him!]. After writing a whole of dreck, the author will finally summate and give a final, yet tedious rating of the topic.

Repeat x2 here for an equally boring story. [A change in media may be done beforehand however].

One may almost feel pity for the author as he decides to open up himself here, expressing such candidly farfetched opinions that may very well lack any sort of substance or validity. A glimmer of hope strikes the audience as they realize that the end of their misery is nearing.

A brilliant change of pace is noticed here, as well as a change of text color, as the author may provide a very viable article for one's food for thought/lulz. Very much worth reading!

Author finalises with a really cheesy signoff line. All humor is out the window by this stage, as well as the writer's dignity. One can imagine the author will be looking like this:



Peace out bros.

I love all of you readers <3.